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The misspellings and run-on sentences of a self propelled pop-up target.
Friday, October 31, 2003
Signs of Evil. Mu-ha-ha-ha
It maybe because it's Halloween or maybe because yesterday was devil's night, (Is that even a real holiday? I just saw it on The Crow and thought it sounded cool.) but either way evil is all around us.
Yesterday at lunch I heard the toe tappable theme of evil. I don't know what it was called and I wouldn't type it here if I did, for I don't want to draw the attention of the nameless one. Let me just say that the theme song was brought to us by a collaboration of Brittany Spears and Madonna. This is an unholy union my friends. Madonna will suck the youth and popularity off of Brittany to once more reign down her evil upon the pop charts. Brittany meanwhile, will gain the powers of skank and cause billions of hours to go wasted as millions of men watch muted TVs.
Then on the way home from work, I saw a mini-van in a strip club parking lot. It even had one of those "soccer mom", and "my kid is an honor student at blah blah blah" bumper stickers. Diabolical. OK, well this one is more funny than evil, but still it seemed important at the time.
Later that night, there was a 45-minute episode of Will and Grace. The horror. That is 15-45 minutes longer than a Will and Grace episode should ever be.
This morning I was 30 minutes late for work. Obviously the devil made me oversleep. That Yassaf Arafat loving bastard is plotting against me.
At work I was briefed on the technical specifications of a project from a clown as vampires and people with poofy fake mullets walked by. Kim Jong Il has poofy hair and he's evil. Coincidence? I think not.
Every time I try to concentrate on a program I catch a clown, or serial killer walk past the door of my office. I can't work like this. The devil is sending his minions to distract me with the mind numbing sound of floppy clown shoes.
There is a Jessica Lynch movie and book coming out. I'll leave that one alone, but I'm sure you can see the connection.
Even Blackfive has captured a picture of the shiny orange ass of evil.
And the final insult to all that is good. In the break room there is a bag of 1950's monster green guacamole Doritos. No God-fearing person would invent such a food. I may have to leave work to pray for my soul. I will consult the employee handbook on if you use a sick day if you call in damned.
***Update***
Further proof of evil can be found here. Mayor Jimmy of Rantville found this link.
Yesterday at lunch I heard the toe tappable theme of evil. I don't know what it was called and I wouldn't type it here if I did, for I don't want to draw the attention of the nameless one. Let me just say that the theme song was brought to us by a collaboration of Brittany Spears and Madonna. This is an unholy union my friends. Madonna will suck the youth and popularity off of Brittany to once more reign down her evil upon the pop charts. Brittany meanwhile, will gain the powers of skank and cause billions of hours to go wasted as millions of men watch muted TVs.
Then on the way home from work, I saw a mini-van in a strip club parking lot. It even had one of those "soccer mom", and "my kid is an honor student at blah blah blah" bumper stickers. Diabolical. OK, well this one is more funny than evil, but still it seemed important at the time.
Later that night, there was a 45-minute episode of Will and Grace. The horror. That is 15-45 minutes longer than a Will and Grace episode should ever be.
This morning I was 30 minutes late for work. Obviously the devil made me oversleep. That Yassaf Arafat loving bastard is plotting against me.
At work I was briefed on the technical specifications of a project from a clown as vampires and people with poofy fake mullets walked by. Kim Jong Il has poofy hair and he's evil. Coincidence? I think not.
Every time I try to concentrate on a program I catch a clown, or serial killer walk past the door of my office. I can't work like this. The devil is sending his minions to distract me with the mind numbing sound of floppy clown shoes.
There is a Jessica Lynch movie and book coming out. I'll leave that one alone, but I'm sure you can see the connection.
Even Blackfive has captured a picture of the shiny orange ass of evil.
And the final insult to all that is good. In the break room there is a bag of 1950's monster green guacamole Doritos. No God-fearing person would invent such a food. I may have to leave work to pray for my soul. I will consult the employee handbook on if you use a sick day if you call in damned.
***Update***
Further proof of evil can be found here. Mayor Jimmy of Rantville found this link.
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